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1. 20 Chocolate Puns. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? The other one says, Baking a cake (sick dirty joke) (X) One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. Hes a chocolate lab. I think it was an Aero plane.I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. Sandra Bullock, Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. Mr. Good, who? Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" The other watches your snatch. I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. Chocolate Jokes. Love sharing with your friends and family? please reply can we share on our website?? I appreciate a balanced diet. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . A marsbar! *wink wink*. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Daniel Tosh. Diabetes. #3. A pound a day often. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. Bob Saget: That's What I'm Talking About is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. Baby Ruth! as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! There you are in front of me. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. Whos there? 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Want to see those? Open a box with chocolate jokes one liners that will make you laugh! Are your legs made of Nutella? A candy baaaaa-r! Any sane person loves chocolate. I never met a chocolate I didnt like. I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) Are you chocolate spread? To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. 3. More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid. Because you're making me drool. Get stuck in. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, but chocolate makes it worthwhile. Candy cow jump over the moon? Candy! What kind of candy is never on time? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Its much higher than anything else. The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! Why is a Toblerone triangular? As long as its chocolate. Needing comforting, I then shared my COCOA with CC. 4. He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Chocolate chimp! When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. You definitely taste better than chocolate. "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Tap To Copy. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. A: Because no one wants to quit. Want to come with me? Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Jokes, A new British survey has revealed that 9 out of 10 people like Chocolate. It is a source of polyphenols, the same type of antioxidants found in red wine, and the fat it contains is stearic acid, which doesnt affect cholesterol levels. One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldnt resist and went to the old mans jar and ate over half the peanuts. . Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? What candy is only for girls? The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". The old man responded, Thats ok. What do you call an extra sweet cookie? - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? I am always ready for something sweet like you. Copy This. (LogOut/ I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. I do not need a ganache on my cake because you are enough sweet for me. Candy, who? Youre like a sweet because Id like to drizzle you on any food and still not get enough of you. He dips his nuts in chocolate. Dark chocolate chimp. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. We believe chocolate consumption may have the same effect. ", responds the alien. He turned into a box of chocolates. Are you a chocolate bar? It uses Hershey pronouns. ao! So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. Have you seen all jokes? He had a chip in his tooth. You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem". . "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. Hot chocolate. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? The little boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". a!. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! C? One smart cookie. A Kitty Kat bar. Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter. One thats choco-lit! 5. Chalk, who? A cad-bury. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? My final hope for a smokin' hot body! - Gary Delaney. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. Addiction & Guilt Laugh along with more jokes! Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. Make your lady smile with these jokes. Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. Share. The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot. You can be my chocolate bunny. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Cacao. Who's there? The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Danny Tanner was great, but Bob Saget loved working blue. A: Because it lost its filling Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. may say Im a dreamer, Emperor Montezuma said: If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. Donut stop believing. In fact, just one ounce of chocolate has about as much of these plant chemicals as a cup of brewed black tea. When people dessert you, eat ice cream! Best Deez Nuts Jokes. Sniggas. Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. No, he answered. When it comes to stealing chocolate bars I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. She died.". Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. 2. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Diet Advice Cao-cao! Are you chocolate milk? I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. We have gathered some of the funniest and amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, funny chocolate stories, puns, and one-liners youll ever see. Check it out. Bagel Jokes. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Do not Disturb! These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. The chemist sees the glass as completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state. Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? You can also listen to t. Wookies don't like steak because they think it is too chewy. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Why did the candy bar cross the road? It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Mr. Good A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. These compounds reduce the stickiness of platelets, cells that play an important role in blood clotting. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. A chocolate pun! What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. How about I make you happy this time? There was a convertible. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. It will not make you pregnant. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. Chocolate chimp! Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns! Tap To Copy. Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Choco-early. We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. As much as chocolate, perhaps. You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. A little too much chocolate is just about right. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! !. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". Are you Willy Wonka? How do you Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. A mootation. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. "You mean J.C? In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. The best of all worlds. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A: ao! Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. Dairy milk chocolate! If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Forrest Gump. The pope retorts "Chocolates? Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. The optimist sees the glass as half full. And it always feels good. We know we love them! - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Shock-o-lat. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? He turned into a box of chocolates. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! What is the opposite of Chocolate? Knock knock! Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: Chocolate chimp. Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. One snatches your watch. Its something that should be had on a daily basis. Copy This. Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! Just ice cream. A naked man broke into a church. Chocolate Day Funny Jokes. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! Deborah Fox-Rothschild. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? My dear, how will you ever manage? Whos there? Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. A chocolate shake. He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? Food Puns. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! Knock knock! #3. That way, at least youll get one thing done. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. eating chocolate You If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. I dont know babe but I think my love for you is enough to stop your cravings for sweet. The worlds best Sundae! 1. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. What the cold weather does to cold people! "Take only one. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. A new hybrid. 7. Who doesnt love chocolate? Imogen life without chocolate! Hot fudge fills deep needs. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. Are you chocolate? One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. What does it do before it rains candy?It sprinkles!Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said Happy Easter! What did the other one say?